Jane W. Nesselrode

Jane Winifred Waring Nesselrode passed away July 5, 2014, in Lawrence, Kansas.  Born in Kansas City, Kansas, to Maude and Clarence Waring in 1919, she was one of the few women to become a champion golfer and diver and to graduate from the School of Architectural Engineering at KU in 1940.  She married (and later divorced) Frederick McCoy, M.D. and became a loving mother of five children.

She was an active volunteer in Kansas City for the March of Dimes, the Nelson Art Gallery, the Della C. Lamb Center, St. Mary’s Hospital, St. Andrew’s Church, and many others.  She was on the Board of the Red Cross, President of Kappa Kappa Gamma Alums, Chairwoman of the Philharmonic Education Program and President of the Women’s Philharmonic.  She taught children’s programs prior to their attending concerts, so that they would understand more about what they were experiencing. For decades she also volunteered at the St. Lukes Hospital gift shop, delivered books to patients, and helped knit caps for newborns.

She was married to George Nesselrode from 1972 until his death in 1981.  She was an accomplished pianist who could bring her listeners to tears and/or laughter, depending on the music.  She played for small children at the Jewish Community Center in KC as they danced and marched around her piano. She led many a sing-along with her piano and was entertaining the residents at Brandon Woods until recently..

She made friends wherever she went and accepted the changes of age with incredible grace.  She loved to make people smile, and her wit was unstoppable.  She had a comeback for just about any remark. She spent many days in hospitals in her final years, and invariably nurses and aides would tell us that our mother made their day with her cheerful attitude and witty remarks in spite of the many challenges she faced.

She will be dearly missed by her five children and spouses: Judy and Michael Carman, Rick and Nancy McCoy, Anna McCoy, Melissa McCoy, Steve McCoy;  three step-daughters: Ellen Jasa,        Georgia Nesselrode, and Jean Anne Nesselrode; nine grandchildren and their spouses; 19 great grandchildren, countless dear friends, and her beloved cat—Miss Kitty.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests that the best way to honor our mother would be a donation to the Brandon Woods Employee Recognition Fund at 1501 Inverness Drive, Lawrence, KS, 66047. Service will be held at 1:30 pm on Friday, July 11, at Trinity Episcopal Church, 1011 Vermont, Lawrence, KS.  Following the service everyone is invited to attend a Celebration of Jane’s Life at the Brandon Woods Smith Center, 4723 Brandon Woods Terrace, at 3pm.

Messages & Condolences

From David and Orean Kent...

We became friends with Jane through Trinity Church and were always greeted with her radiant smile. We enjoyed her company at our annual Christmas teas with other ladies from Brandon Woods and visits to her home. Her life was a blessing to so many, and we thank God that we were privileged to know her.

From Becky Crow Clem...

Dearest Missy, Steve, Patsy, Judy, Rick – your mom was one of my favorite people. She was a true example of grace and determination. Her many gifts are manifested in each one of you. How grateful and blessed I am, along with my dad, Lou, Allen, and my mom, for knowing Jane. She made a difference in this world!
With love,
Becky Crow Clem

From Carol Folks...

Judy,Michael,Holly and family, So sad to hear of the loss of your mom and grandma,she was a very special lady, who was always so kind. God keep and bless you all thru this time of her crossing over. Love to all from Carol and Dwight Folks

From Curtis James...

The James family grew up with the McCoys. Many, many days were spent together enjoying skiing and swimming at Lake of the Ozarks, as well as having fun in Kansas City. We all, Otis, Curtis, Bob, and Nancy will really miss Jane. She was so smart and had a wonderful sense of humor. We just really loved Jane. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family.

From Marilyn Foster Borel...

Was so sad to hear this news- made me think of all the fun times with your mother and how much I enjoyed being with her- my mother, Betty Foster, called me tonight to tell me – she was very sorry to hear this too and remembers all the fun in KCKS growing up- what a beautiful tribute to your mother- we will miss her very much
Marilyn and Betty Foster

From Martha Hendricks...


Although I didn’t know her well, I, too, was touched by your mother’s beautiful spirit. She was the wellspring of her children’s many gifts and talents and will always be an endless source of strength and love. Jane passed from this life with the same grace and dignity with which she lived, thanks to her children’s love, respect, dedication and compassion. I have always been in awe of you, Missy, and will always see your mom’s light reflected in the beautiful, loving woman you are.

Peace & love,

From Mina Steen...

Jane was my Dad’s cousin and oh, how he loved and enjoyed her. Actually, we all did! I have the fondest of memories whether skating on the pond at the family home, or swimming in her pool that she and George so enjoyed. Jane was one of the smartest and most “with-it” women I knew. She was truly devoted to her family and incredibly proud of all of her children. I loved to hear about them as I knew they were her greatest joy. Getting the news was very sad, but hers was a life well-lived and full of adventure – due to her spirit.

With love,

Mina Olander Steen

From Betty Laird...


We lost a friend last week, you and I,
a woman of wit and talent, braver
than most, one who could laugh
at adversity, forgive
a slight, and joke
about losing a leg.

A talented woman, with agile fingers
that made a piano dance, she played
for others’ pleasure. A thoughtful
woman who could tease a
sour disposition into
a smile, she made a toy of her
wheelchair and left her mark
on our generation.

From Jeanne Ellermeier...

Jane was a gracious lady who was accomplished in so many ways, not the least being a special friend to so many who will miss her. She was one of the best bridge players i ever encountered, and when we were both too old to have perfect recall of the rules, she was still teaching me new things.

I will always be grateful that i was able to know her.

From Julie Vernon...

Jane’s courage and sense of humor through very challenging times, along with her children’s steady, cooperative loving care for her are an inspiration to many. My thoughts and blessings are with the family.

From Tammy Steeples...

I greatly admired Jane. We played bridge together from time to time. She was one spunky lady! She was a lot of fun to be around and always upbeat even when faced with serious challenges.

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